• 150+ Funny Facebook Status Updates

   

  Funny Facebook statuses are a great way to brighten up your social networking profile page. If you are looking for Facebook Status then your search ends here, you have landed on the right page. This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages that have been written by real people. You will find here all Funniest Facebook Status, just read the full collection of the funny facebook statuses.

   
  
  
• decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
• When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
• X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
• X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
• X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
• What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
• slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
• wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
• X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
• People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
• Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
• WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
• ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
• Dear Santa, let me explain…
• I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
• My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
• If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
• Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
• Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
• Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
• Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
• ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
• _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
• if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
• scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
• ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
• Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
• The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
• Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
• i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
• Cut here —————–✄———————-
• Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
• Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
• Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
• Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
• Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
• So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
• X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
• Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
• You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
• Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
• I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
• Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
• I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
• X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
• Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
• what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
• I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
• press the star below and watch it glow
• ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
• I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
• Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
• X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
• Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
• I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
• X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
• X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
• ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
• Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
• oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
• wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
• X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
• Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
• If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
• eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
• I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
• a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
• ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
• All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
• too cool for school.
• trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
• the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
• –^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
• definitely not watching what not to wear.
• forcing my dog to learn how to google.
• kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
• Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
• X is Loading ████████████ 99%
• Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
• U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.
• X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
• Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
• I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
• In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
• X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
• never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
• a day late and a dollar short.
• Insert coin to view my status message.
• If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
• We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
• happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
• seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
• remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
• > $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
• 20/20 hearing!

More Funny Facebook statuses From our Readers !

 

I like to name my ipod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.


Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine.
Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like

 Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected ”

Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!

why do we need school???
music~we have YouTube for that.
Spanish ~i watch Dora.
English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol).
geography~i will buy a globe.
history~they are all dead anyway.
math~that is why we have the calculator.
spelling~we have spell check on the computer.

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?

NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”

what’s the difference between puberty & a water bottle? a water bottle hit Justin Bieber first! (;

Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is

Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag xD

Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single.

Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.

Me and my mom were shopping for new Cd’s and she asked me..
Mom: honey, Who’s your favorite artist?
Me: Eminem
Mom: The candy?
Me: no the rapper
Mom:What’s so special good about Candy Wrappers?


If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrehea…does that mean one person enjoys it?
status: I can’t log into facebook

A bug just landed on my computer screen and my first reaction was on try and scare it away with the curser

Did you know in Japan girls keep their phones on vibrate and put them down their crotch? Don’t feel bad if they don’t answer. It means they’re busy All i want to know is, where can i get a number?

Your make-up looks so pretty:) lol jk it looks like a crayon raped your face!!!

My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.

Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
i know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and
 you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling

Sorry, Ke$ha the party dont stop till I walk in.
honk if you love Jesus Textwhile driving if you want to meet him.

Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone.

How much coke has Charlie Sheen done?……………enough to kill 2 1/2 men….

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you.

Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.

I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me .

I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”


A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?..Doesn’t bother me,he responds..actually once u get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new.

Got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!”
I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.

A kid got bad marks in his test, he showed his test to his mom. His mom said ” what is this”? He answered teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!!

Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!

One day a chicken croxed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!

Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!

FUNNY BUT USEFUL WORDS IN SERIOUS DICTIONARIES YOU NEED TO ADD TO YOUR VOCABULARY

Every day we are faced with something new to describe. This in turn, creates the need for new words and original descriptions. That understood, the bombardment of all these additions, has left the world with less time to bother with fashioning these necessary words and phrases. Consequently, we give in to the laziness of human nature, and merely bang two or more words together to make up a new one.

Even so, with the increase of the use of texting, spell check and social networking sites (where fast and furious short-hand speak is the norm), our brave new world’s language is beginning to change rapidly.  Spelling doesn’t seem to be important – as ‘apparently’ proved by a research done by Cambridge University, and the necessary introduction of new words to our vocabulary seem to be leaving a lot of us grammar nerds out in the cold.

With the age of short-hand words in general use (words like ‘asap,’ ‘natch.’ ‘pos,’ ‘info,’   ETA, fab and gorge, urgently spring to mind), spelling seems to be the last thing on our brains.  Is spelling really important though? Take a look at the following paragraph found on the Cambridge University’s website.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae
the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe.
My opinion is that, the only reason you could read this without a problem is because you know the correct spelling to begin with.  In my opinion, learning correct spelling is important, for it’s only then, that you can know what the incorrect version looks like.

In light of the progressive situations creating the need for additional words, here are a few that you would find in newer dictionaries today. Have you used these before and can you spell them?

Abibliophobia	The fear of running out of reading material.
Absquatulate	To leave or abscond with something.
Allegator	Some who alleges.
Anencephalous	Lacking a brain.
Argle-bargle	A loud row or quarrel.
Batrachomyomachy	Making a mountain out of a molehill.
Billingsgate	Loud, raucous profanity.
Bloviate	To speak pompously or brag.
Blunderbuss	A gun with a flared muzzle or disorganized activity.
Borborygm	A rumbling of the stomach.
Boustrophedon	A back and forth pattern.
Bowyang	A strap that holds the pants legs in place.
Brouhaha	An uproar.
Bumbershoot	An umbrella.
Callipygian	Having an attractive rear end or nice buns.
Canoodle	To hug and kiss.
Cantankerous	Testy, grumpy.
Catercornered	Diagonal(ly).
Cockalorum	A small, haughty man.
Cockamamie	Absurd, outlandish.
Codswallop	Nonsense, balderdash.
Collop	A slice of meat or fold of flab.
Collywobbles	Butterflies in the stomach.
Comeuppance	Just reward, just deserts.
Crapulence	Discomfort from eating or drinking too much.
Crudivore	An eater of raw food.
Discombobulate	To confuse.
Donnybrook	An melee, a riot.
Doozy	Something really great.
Dudgeon	A bad mood, a huff.
Ecdysiast	An exotic dancer, a stripper.
Eructation	A burp, belch.
Fard	Face-paint, makeup.
Fartlek	An athletic training regime.
Fatuous	Unconsciously foolish.
Filibuster	Refusal to give up the floor in a debate to prevent a vote.
Firkin	A quarter barrel or small cask.
Flibbertigibbet	Nonsense, balderdash.
Flummox	To exasperate.
Folderol	Nonsense.
Formication	The sense of ants crawling on your skin.
Fuddy-duddy	An old-fashioned, mild-mannered person.
Furbelow	A fringe or ruffle.
Furphy	A portable water-container.
Gaberlunzie	A wandering beggar.
Gardyloo!	A warning shouted before throwing water from above.
Gastromancy	Telling fortune from the rumblings of the stomach.
Gazump	To buy something already promised to someone else.
Gobbledygook	Nonsense, balderdash.
Gobemouche	A highly gullible person.
Godwottery	Nonsense, balderdash.
Gongoozle	To stare at, kibitz.
Gonzo	Far-out journalism.
Goombah	An older friend who protects you.
Hemidemisemiquaver	A musical timing of 1/64.
Hobbledehoy	An awkward or ill-mannered young boy.
Hocus-pocus	Deceitful sleight of hand.
Hoosegow	A jail or prison.
Hootenanny	A country or folk music get-together.
Jackanapes	A rapscallion, hooligan.
Kerfuffle	An uproar, mild scandal.
Klutz	An awkward, stupid person.
La-di-da	An interjection indicating that something is pretentious.
Lagopodous	Like a rabbit's foot.
Lickety-split	As fast as possible.
Lickspittle	A servile person, a toady.
Logorrhea	Loquaciousness, talkativeness.
Lollygag	To move slowly, fall behind.
Malarkey	Nonsense, balderdash.
Maverick	A loner, someone outside the box.
Mollycoddle	To treat too leniently.
Mugwump	An independent politician who does not follow any party.
Mumpsimus	An outdated and unreasonable position on an issue.
Namby-pamby	Weak, with no backbone.
Nincompoop	A foolish person.
Oocephalus	An egghead.
Ornery	Mean, nasty, grumpy.
Pandiculation	A full body stretch.
Panjandrum	Someone who thinks himself high and mighty.
Pettifogger	A person who tries to befuddle others with his speech.
Pratfall	A fall on one's rear.
Quean	A disreputable woman.
Rambunctious	Aggressive, hard to control.
Ranivorous	Frog-eating
Rigmarole	Nonsense, unnecessary complexity.
Shenanigan	A prank, mischief.
Sialoquent	Spitting while speaking.
Skedaddle	To hurry somewhere.
Skullduggery	No good, underhanded dealing.
Slangwhanger	A loud abusive speaker or obnoxious writer.
Smellfungus	A perpetual pessimist.
Snickersnee	A long knife.
Snollygoster	A person who can't be trusted.
Snool	A servile person.
Tatterdemalion	A child in rags.
Troglodyte	Someone or something that lives in a cave.
Turdiform	Having the form of a lark.
Unremacadamized	Having not been repaved with macadam.
Vomitory	An exit or outlet.
Wabbit	Exhausted, tired, worn out.
Widdershins	In a contrary or counterclockwise direction.
Yahoo	A rube, a country bumpkin.
@	The "at" sign.

The Freddie Omany blog: 5 reasons why Robin van Persie should stay at Arse...

The Freddie Omany blog: 5 reasons why Robin van Persie should stay at Arse...: With Robin Van Persie insisting that he won’t address his contractual situation until after the European Championships, the saga of wheth...

5 reasons why Robin van Persie should stay at Arsenal.

With Robin Van Persie insisting that he won’t address his contractual situation until after the European Championships, the saga of whether he stays at Arsenal is shaping up to be very boring indeed.
Get ready for a different paper to print a different rumour every day for the next six weeks. Brace yourselves.

Any time a player has the kind of season that the Dutchman has just had, there’s going to be interest from the vulture clubs around Europe – but if you add in an expiring contract to that situation, then times that interest by three. Arsenal are vulnerable if Van Persie doesn’t extend his deal, and the player and his agent will know that – if he wants to leave, then it’s going to be very hard to stop him.
But he should stay.

 Whenever Arsenal have needed to grind out a result this season, they have turned to their captain and talisman Robin van Persie.


Arsenal is managed by one of the most shrewdest and money-conscious managers in world football, reflected in the club’s lack of transfer activity. Despite the fact that the club is certainly lacking in quality and numbers in some areas of pitch, Arsene Wenger folded his arms and watched the month of January pass by so who would blame if he decided to leave?

1. LOYALTY

When Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri left, it made sense because none of them loved Arsenal that much. Nasri left at the first sign of cash.
Fabregas remained silent and left at a time that damaged Arsenal this season, instead of handing a transfer request early on, giving Arsenal a chance to buy a world-class replacement.
Van Persie however, loved Arsenal, as he stated time and again, and has shown the loyalty and the quality to back his claims.
Should van Persie leave, it means that even those who love Arsenal have stopped believing in it.

During the 2009-2010 season with only one year remaining of his contract, Van Persie was in negotiations with Arsenal about an extension for several months in 2009. Finally, it was announced in July that he had signed a new long-term contract with his club, stating, "My heart is with Arsenal and I just can't picture myself in a different shirt."

Freed from the shackles of injury and blessed with the form of his life, van Persie has sometimes single-handedly won games for his club through sheer determination and awesome skill.
His teammates have turned to their leader to provide the inspiration necessary to break down any resilient Premier League side

As if the Dutchman isn't revered enough around the Emirates Stadium, he might just ascend to a whole new stratus.
Arsenal had leverage over Robin van Persie when he suffered a fractured metatarsal, a knee ligament tear, a recurring thigh problem, ruptured ankle ligaments and a severe ankle sprain.
These are just the notable injuries, what about the nagging ones?

Instead of twisting from what seemed like a logical business decision in selling the Dutchman, they stuck by him.
There is also the fact that when Arsenal bought him no other club wanted to buy him due to Baloteli-like indiscipline on the pitch but trust Wenger to convert crude players to pure class

Now at the present, Van Persie is the best player in the Premier League and he can sink Arsenal's future plans by announcing his intentions to leave.

We all know who the scapegoat will be—Arsène Wenger 

2. June 2005

In June 2005, while in Rotterdam with the Dutch national team for the 2006 World Cup qualifiers, Van Persie was arrested on suspicion of rape by Dutch police. Sandra Krijgsman, a former Miss Nigeria Holland winner, claimed she was attacked by Van Persie in a hotel.He was held for fourteen nights in prison while the police investigated the allegations made against him but was then released without charge, though he was still under suspicion. In February 2006, the case against Van Persie was dismissed by the Dutch Public Prosecution Service after they completed their investigations stating that no sexual contact with coercion happened, with Van Persie's accuser later admitting she had made up the story to gain publicity. Van Persie spoke of his ordeal several months later, saying how degrading the experience was and how he was treated like a criminal despite his innocence. He revealed that conditions in the prison were so hot that they caused him to lose consciousness. It also emerged that over 200 Rotterdam police officers had attempted to view his case files, with the vast majority of them unauthorised to do so.

Again Arsenal stuck by him through the whole drama when other clubs could have bid good riddance to him with the snap of a finger.

3. THE LEGACY

At Arsenal, he’s building himself a legacy. It’s rare for someone to have the kind of sustained purple patch that the Dutchman has this year, nobody at the club will ever forget it. If he decides to hand Arsene Wenger back the armband and head off to Spain next season, then that will be the defining memory of this year.
Certain players thrive on being a focal point within a team – they enjoy being the posterboy of a side and they relish the pressure that comes with it. It doesn’t necessarily follow though, that the same type of player will succeed in a more talented environment. Was Van Persie as prominent when this Arsenal side was stacked with quality? Was he as much of an offensive threat? No – obviously his development as a player is a factor in that, but it’s also a symptom of his mentality. Van Persie would only be a world-class performer at Arsenal.


This is Thierry Henry all over again. The Frenchman was a legend at Arsenal, he was bigger than the club at his peak – but on moving to Barcelona he became just another contributor. Yes, his age was a mitigating factor, but the drop off in his performances were too severe to be accredited solely to the passing of time.

4. SIGNS OF COMMITMENT BY THE CLUB ARE STARTING TO SHOW

Last months signing of Lukas Podolski, a world class player before the end of the season is surely a sign of better things to come. they have also been associated with a number of bi names on the transfer market. What a better way of winning than getting the services of world class players?

5.FAMILY LIFE

It would seem as though Arsenal’s chairman Peter Hill-Wood is suffering from bouts of delusion as he insists that his club will on hold to Robin van Persie, despite the £210,000 per week on offer from Manchester City.

Hill-Wood believes that van Persie is content making less money because his family is happily settled in North London: “I think Robin and his family are very happy in London and I don’t think he is solely motivated by money as some players are.”

To suggest that van Persie would prefer to live in the capital rather than Manchester seems plausible, but to posit that the Dutch international is willing to take a 50% pay cut to stay at Arsenal due to some perverse notion of loyalty borders on the absurd.

There is also that fact that Arsenal signed his son to the Arsenal academy, perhaps a desperate attempt to hold on to the player through his son

Any agent worth their salt would advise their client to earn as much money as possible given that the career of a professional athlete is relatively short.

The worst kept Transfer secret in football History?

Just as my own blogging season was in danger of fizzling out, I’ve decided to rouse myself for one last push. Two more blog posts and I might just totter over the line. Why haven’t I sealed this sooner though? I can only think it’s a confidence thing.
Since I last dipped in here we have drawn at Stoke, a result that is far from calamitous at any stage of any season, but coming after a loss and a goalless draw it was a result that hardly kick-started the kind of swashbuckling tone for the rest of the season that I had hoped for. Why have the goals dried up a bit? “Maybe it is linked with belief” said Wenger, which is not really what you want to read, is it? Anyway, here we all are and we are pretty clear what Arsenal need to do to drag themselves over the line.
Of course, you have to assume the worst and expect our rivals to take full points. That makes our task very straightforward, on paper if not on grass – two wins. But depending on results on Wednesday, it could make Norwich on Saturday, and indeed West Brom’s Hodgson valete the following week, far more stressful than you might want.
How we could do with our new signing Lukas Podolski for the last two games. With 18 goals from 28 games this season, plus six assists, we are talking about a man at the top of his game and for Arsenal to sew this one up so soon is admirable business indeed. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect us to dot all the I’s and cross all the T’s of our summer business before the Euros – there’ll a lot of shop windowing going on – but this lays down a marker and continues the recent policy of mixing raw youth (Oxlade-Chamberlain, Jenkinson) with proper experience (Mertesacker, Arteta). There’s also plenty of sense in getting as much of your incoming business done soon so that the club can work hard on trimming the squad down.
Podolski will of course be desperate for Arsenal to make the Champions League – he can join the queue, right behind the shuffling army of accountants – and will be forced to look on agonisingly from afar as we complete the season. There isn’t a lot he can do of course, but it would be nice to think that this ambitious early signal from the club might have an effect on the current players as they strive for the sunlit uplands of third – for those who will be competing for places against him, for those whose futures are undecided and for those committed for the long term but ambitious for more.
And on an unrelated note, good luck to Roy Hodgson. A decent man, he’s well travelled and well respected. And whatever happens, surely it can’t be any worse than South Africa in 2010?
All the best, Roy.